New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
