I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
