I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
