she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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