Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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