In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
