I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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