he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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