dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
