It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
