He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
