WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
