I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
