Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
