There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
