I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
