I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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