I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
