we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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