I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
