I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You were trust falling into bushes
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
