Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I am spending my child support on dildos
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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