is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
