Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
