4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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