He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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