I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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