Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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