Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
