I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
