just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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