Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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