Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
