pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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