Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
