I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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