Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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