weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
