If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
