so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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