Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
