she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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