Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
