i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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