drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
