IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
