can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
