Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
