Screwed.edu
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
