It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
