then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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